You're a womanizer and a bitch.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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