i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
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