i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize