Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize