I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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