Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
