Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
These tits shall not be calmed
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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