Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
