I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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