and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
