Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
