he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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