if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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