I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
