i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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