after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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