The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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