Im at strip club and am horny
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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