I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
