you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
