Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
