All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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