i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
