I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
