Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
