how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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