I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Are we still banned from the library?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
