i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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