i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
