It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
