why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
