I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
