As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
