Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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