That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
