I wanna bring you to show and tell
my phone needs a breathalizer
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
