I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
