Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize
