you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
