Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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