well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
nutella sex= disaster
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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