and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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