Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
