you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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