finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
