kristin has been a bad kristin
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
a search helicopter?!
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
