You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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