I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
