What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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