i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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