We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
