big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My cat gives me a boner
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
