hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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