i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
