no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My vagina is officially offended.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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