dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
