the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
