Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
