That's intense
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
