I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
