She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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