i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
